As we explore dating from a thriving results coaching perspective, we want to help you begin to discover what makes dating successful.
Many single people struggle to find a large pool of quality people to date. Rather, the experience of dating is mostly mediocre time with mediocre people. We will shine a light on what you can do to attract those you will enjoy spending time with and grow from being around them.
Quality Actually Matters
Dating matters. Spending quality time with quality people is an integral part of anyone experiencing a healthy and happy life.
If you want to understand how to find healthy, high caliber, quality people to date, then you have come to the right place! This blog explores the starting place to create healthy dating, which will also lead to healthy relationships, partnership, and eventually marriage.
Are you ready to put down your old approach and try a new way?
If you are in pursuit of a healthy relationship, our approach can empower you to turn your old, worn-out, lackluster results ON THEIR HEAD. That’s right let’s go take a look.
The Real Secret — Are You Ready?
You think you’ve tried everything? Think again!
Attracting the right partner requires that you begin by being that partner for yourself.
You cannot attract a healthy, happy, and amazing partner until you are a healthy, happy and amazing partner for yourself!
The secret is focusing on yourself. The secret is being attractive to yourself (not another person). It is making yourself happy (not someone else.)
For women, this includes providing for your needs, understanding your values, and honoring yourself.
For men this includes challenging yourself to grow, respecting yourself, and honoring your value.
This approach begins with an honest look at what’s working and not working in your own life.
You can start today by accepting the parts of yourself and your life that you don’t enjoy. Take action! You can pick one and create an action plan. Another path is to make a list of everything you don’t enjoy about your life, and then prioritize what you want to handle first. Consider each major area of life, including your spiritual life, emotional/social life, mental health, professional/career, physical well being and fitness, and finances. Where do you want to start in becoming your own best friend and setting your life in order?
Some of its feel that our Life is completely in order! We don’t understand why we can’t get a date/wife/lover! For those of you who have it all together, there is one clear place to look to see what you may want to work on… it is the thing you find displeasing or annoying in your bad dates.
There might be a lot to unpack here around this first step, we encourage you to simply consider this as a place to start, and that as a starting place it empowers you to go on a new journey of self-discovery and adventure.
The Bull’s Eye — Knowing When to Take the Next Step
When you have done the work required, a dead giveaway that you are ready for a healthy partner to show up, and begin dating might look like this:
- You love yourself, fully accept yourself, and love your life.
- You are happy.
- You are grounded in your values and at peace with others.
- You are complete with your past and have forgiven yourself, god, and others for pain in your past.
You are comfortable with yourself because you can say: “I am no longer looking for ‘The One’ because I AM ‘The One” for me!”
Now, you may ask,
“Okay. How do I get there? I’ve been trying to be good enough for my entire (x) years, or decades of life! When will I finally be enough?”
How on Earth do I Get to This Point??
I thought you’d never ask!
To the male audience- You can make yourself attractive to happy, healthy women by developing yourself.
If you are in the stage of life where you are still building up your empire, you can approach this from an accomplishment perspective. What challenge could you take on to develop yourself? When you are engaged in either developing a skill or achieving an accomplishment, you exude confidence that will magnetically attract strong healthy women.
If you are in the stage of life where you have built your empire, and you just want a partner to share it with, then you can attract a stronghealthy woman by honoring your needs and making sure you are happy in your life. (For example, eat well, get good sleep, attend social events you personally enjoy.)
To the female perspective-
All you have to do is… Date… Yourself.
Yes, please read that again.
#SimpleNotSImple Profound You are right! It’s more easily said than done!
Especially for women because we have an impossible standard we feel compelled to try to become. So, I wanted to take some space to spell this out for the ladies. Ladies, this can take some time. Here’s how it can look to date yourself.
Schedule time to date myself. Be alone, peaceful, quiet. Give myself my full attention! Take myself on a date. Spend some time doing what I enjoy, and then paying attention to myself.
Notice what I don’t love about myself. Do the work required to change and forgive myself for all past mistakes.
Discover the way I talk to myself that I don’t love. Ask myself for forgiveness and practice total love and acceptance of myself the way I am right now.
Have an honest discussion with myself about how critical it is to my happiness to get all my essential needs met. Then commit to never let myself go without quality food, sleep, shelter, and anything else I truly need, EVER AGAIN.
Apologize to myself and the people in my life for how I’ve behaved because my needs were not met (For example, apologize for resenting others for not meeting my needs when I didn’t even commit to meeting them myself!)
Look at the parts of my life that I’m not in love with, the way I’ve been choosing to live. Decide which ones are truly incompatible. Commit to giving up all the relationships and activities in my life that don’t match my values.
Spend time discovering all the physical touches I love, and make sure I get those.
Spend time discovering the things in the world that bring me joy (What nature? What music? What experiences?)
Practice acknowledging my greatness and my commitments in the world. Spend time pondering and getting the difference I’ve made in the world for generations just by trying to be a good human being. Practice being the best at giving praise to myself that I’ve ever experienced.
Then, fall in love with myself. Discover that I am the best partner I’ve ever had! Discover that I can fully be happy and fulfilled in my own space. Discover that I never want to live without honoring myself again, and commit to doing so!
It might need to be a long courtship! (Note: This is NOT just for single people. People in a relationship can cause profound happiness for themselves by becoming ‘The One’ for themselves. Especially women.)
Being ‘The One’
In our Thriving Dating Model (a new, super secret diagram of what it takes to date in a way that enriches your entire life and sets you up to attract an amazing partner… Which will be revealed in our event, “Bring Dating Back to Life” on August 15, 2020) You will see that there really are layers to truly being ‘The One’ for myself!
You can see our relationship model, which focused on those already in a relationship, as an example Here:
Based on this approach of starting with individual work within yourself, there are so many actions that you haven’t taken to attract. If you are being honest with yourself, you have obsessed far more about the theoretical future dates/partner you want than you have about how to make you fall in love with yourself! (Don’t worry… We all do!)
You Will Then Attract Dates Who Honor You!
When you love and respect yourself as a partner, suddenly you will find people attracted to you who love and respect you, too. You will attract dates who love themselves and admire your deepest values in life. You will be amazed by how many great dates are available that you never saw before.
If you are ready to jump into getting coached to an amazing experience dating yourself and others, set your appointment HERE.
If you want to learn more, you have a special opportunity to register yourself into our FREE live coaching event on August 15, 2020, at 11 am MT. Elizabeth Meservy, the founder of Thriving Results Coaching and coach, will stay and answer all personal questions. This is your chance to really get tools for breakthroughs in your individual situation. We hope to see you there!