Think about it! Who needs a coach to play basketball? No one!
Are you ready to play a bigger game in life? Are you ready to play full out in your marriage? Let’s talk!
Why would a coaching company tell me I don’t need coaching? Because we don’t like wasting our time or your money! We only work with clients who we can empower to WIN the game of life! If you don’t need a coach, then hiring us won’t help you win your game.
The Real Surprise: No one inherently needs a coach!
You are doing just fine, right? You are fine with how your life is going. Your marriage/relationship is fine. Your kids are fine. It’s even fine that most of the time you spend with your teens is them looking at their cell phone or the computer, or the TV, or you yelling at them to do their homework. Or, whatever version of it you experience now. It’s all fine.
There is nothing wrong with being fine. And being fine means you’re likely to survive today, so your brain isn’t freaking out. Fine=asleep for your brain. You may not be fully alive, present or as passionate as you used to be, but you aren’t likely to die! So you can stay right there surviving, if that is what you actually want in your life. A fine life is definitely better than no life at all.
Life Can Be More Than Fine — Do You Want to Survive or Thrive?
Mostly, we (as humans) give up on what we really want because we can’t achieve it on our own. We just accept what we know is impossible.
Usually, when we feel like somethings not possible, we give up. Some of the things that we commonly give up on include, having an off the charts connection and intimacy with our spouse, passionate sex with our spouse, finding a romantic partner, being truly fulfilled in our daily life, being deeply connected and in love with your partner. Some of the things we give up on in our daily personal lives may also include, experiencing success, love, self-expression, and freedom. These basic wants and needs that we choose to give up influence our quality of life.
Coaches are for people seeking a win!
No one needs a coach. In fact, very few people get to the point that they actively seek out having a coach that focuses on or play full out in life as games so big that they REQUIRE a coach to win.
Think about it! Who needs a coach to play basketball? No one!
Who needs a coach to play at an NBA level? Even the most healthy, strong and skilled players in the world have coaches, and sometimes they have a team of coaches that specialize in specific areas to reach specific goals and to build specific skills.
Like in Basketball, if it is a casual game, with are no high-stakes, ‘million-dollar’ championships to win, a coach isn’t really needed.
Before you need a coach, first you need a BIG game that you are PASSIONATE about winning.
What do we mean by game?
At Thriving Results Coaching, we look at success in life, as a game. Reaching goals, having life work in new ways getting the results you want to accomplish are all ways we measure if we are playing the game. We also have clear measurements to see if you are sitting in the stands, or watching everyone else play the game.
We come from the perspective that since it is your life, it’s your game. On some level, this comes from a place of being willing to be responsible for what happens in your life. This responsibility is determined by your desire to play the game, and play it big.
It only makes sense to work with a coach, when you have a game so big that you are unlikely to succeed on your own. Some people relate to this usually as passion or drive, or their business. But you can play a game in any area of life that you want to have new results, and new successes at, including your relationships. When you look at life as a game, it opens up the opportunity to look at the plays and actions you take with a coach to get more points, more results, and more wins.
If you are satisfied with the way your life is, then you probably don’t need a coach. However, if you are frustrated with the same ol’ stuff not working, and it seems like you live the same day, day after day, then you probably need a coach. If you are ready for something new, and finding new ways to win the game, then you definitely need a coach.
Second, you must have passion for the game!
Our clients have a clear passion for what they are up too. This passionate about new results and improvement brings committed to practicing for 6-8 hours/day. Are you willing to do whatever it takes to get that win? Do you recognize that winning depends on your willingness to take new steps? learn new plays, see new perspectives, and stay in action?. No matter what comes, passion drives you to face reality. Passion empowers you to face the areas that aren’t working, without blame or shame, but with a passion to have new results.
When we play big games in life, typically it will be uncomfortable, and that passion will drive you and support you, inspire you, and move you, when nothing else will.
Are you truly happy with the way your life is going? Was your response yes, then you don’t need a coach. Making a new goal or wanting to play a new game, getting a results coach might be important to consider.
If you don’t think you need a coach, you DON’T NEED ONE!
Maybe you are not looking to expand your results, or how fast you can get results—this is a clear indicator that you are able to play the games you want to win on your own! You are satisfied with your current level of skill and winning in life. Your games are manageable, and you are truly satisfied with how it is currently going.
If you are saying life’s fine, but deep down you still feel stuck or irritated, or like you are settling, then you might want to consider talking with a results coach to see if we can help.
WARNING: If your spouse sent you here to consider coaching, they are communicating something important.
If your spouse wants you to get coaching, that is a serious communication. it’s like saying,
“Babe, I’m going to emotionally die if I don’t get what I need. I’m still so committed to this relationship that I would be willing to wait and pay a large sum of money to see us win together!”
The fact that they have shared with you, and communicated this need, can be seen as a deep commitment to you and your relationship. However, this may not mean coaching would work for you.
If they have communicated this to you, be sure to let them know that you get how committed to you and your relationship they are. It’s a pretty big deal to have someone communicate their needs. This also can be an indication that something is not working for them in your relationship. They may feel lonely, need more connection, or more intimacy.
How do I know what to improve in my marriage?
Please nurture any relationship you want to keep! If your spouse starves, or they stay lonely, they will either need to live in chronic relationship pain, or be numb, or leave/cheat. At that point, it is misery for both people. If you want to resolve any potential problem(s), you can ask one question recommended by Alison Armstrong.
“What have you given up on getting from me?”
By asking this question with an open mind, and a willingness to hear their answer, you will know if your relationship is in the danger zone. Their answer can also tell you what you can do to improve your relationship.
The answer to this question may make you uncomfortable, or nervous because you are unsure of how to make your relationship better, that is ok. If you ask and struggle with the answer that is ok too. If you want to improve and you really want to have a better relationship, then we recommend talking with us.
The best way to see if you need/want a coach is to first ask, am I tired of the way life has been going for me? And, then second, do I have a game that would require me to seek out support from a coach? You can also take our readiness assessment, or to schedule a 30-minute free consultation with us.
Remember, YOU ARE RIGHT!
With all that said, regardless of your spouse, if you don’t feel you need a coach, YOU ARE RIGHT! You can play whatever game in life you choose, and you already are (if we’re being totally honest here.)
As a coach, it’s not our job to force you to do anything you don’t want. It is however our job to coach you, empower you, and help you find new ways to get new results. Our coaching programs are designed to help you reach your specific goals. This means that you can have a true win at the game you want to play. We also guarantee results and if you are willing to do the work, then we promise to deliver.
If you’d like to learn more about Thriving Results Coaching, you can follow our blog or sign up for our monthly newsletter.
If you want to see if coaching is a good fit for you then let’s schedule a FREE 30 minute consultation, so that you can start getting big wins right now.